Dasvidaniya 2008

Today i was on a hibernation mode...i was wandering in the aisles of these twelve months which went by.May be i wanted to introspect and this evening suddenly ad mist the most adorable company i went reclusive , may be i was yearning for that tiny space of mine where i can be with myself.So came down to my blog, my only space where i can pour my emotions.

2008 was quite a year for me, i have really learnt a lot this year, professionally and personally.When i look back i am changed person.One year but a long one and a eventful one. Another chapter of my life ended and yet another began , i continue this journey of self discovery. As they say "hum to chale the akele ki kafila badta gaya aur raahi mil gayee ". That's wat life is to continuously keep walking despite of all obstacles and challenges ,just keep walking, you will bump into people ,some really nice,some adorable,some obnoxious and some simply hated but its fine...jut keep walking taking everyone along..whoever stays with you till the end is yours and the one who quits perhaps never was.
Still the journey is enjoyable and full of rich experience.In absence of darkness one cannot appreciate light ,similarly in absence of greed one cannot appreciate kindness, in absence of lust one cannot appreciate love .But it also happens at times that one gets so used to greed ,lust and darkness that when the light befalls one does not want to believe it and shuts his eyes.
It is happening to me, a strange phenomenon where i have started asking a lot of questions and have started doubting people's intent .
I know its a phase and i know the best is yet to come. I want to welcome 2009 with open arms and want to feel good about a lot of things in my life.Hopes and dreams are coming back to me and i am rejoicing those moments.No matter how small they may be but they are mine and will always remain mine.
To all those who touched my heart in someway or the other...Kudos!! to you for bringing a smile on my face whenever or however it may have been.Though today is not an official thanksgiving day but really want to thank each one who made a difference .Above all want to thank myself for being an amazing prima Donna...of a symphony called Life !!

The thinking me!!!

You've got mail!

Singapore post...

Random graffiti @ Amsterdam

Creativity at its best .Wonderful art work at some regular wall on the streets Amsterdam. Art has no boundaries it transcends everything...

interesting collage @ a S'pore restaurant

A Birth & Many Days....

It came and it went a day in my dairy ,30th Nov 2008....and it added another year to my life !!
Every year i eagerly wait for this day as i expect & hope for some good fortune ( the eternal hopeful me ) year after year but the hope just doesn't subside.May be that' s the incorrigible optimist inside of me, somewhere deep down ,which tells me that the sun always shines after a long and dark night.If the night has been longer & darker may be the day will be equally brighter & sunnier...
When i say this to myself i usually shut my eyes, as with open eyes i can only see reality which is not actually quite like a sunny day rather a foggy, hazy...cold winter evening.

I sneak out of my balcony waiting....for the dawn...

....only that at times the wait becomes rather long....

....so long ...so good...it comes...Yes it will , the inside "me "' told me..to hold on..

waiting.........waiting for the dawn

26/11

Again..once again the self proclaimed mujaheddin have assaulted India and this time with utmost planning , technology , ammunition. In a daring & ruthless dance of death , open firing by AK 47 & 56 on roads of Mumbai in the evening of 26th Nov. The thought behind all this was to kill the financial nerve of my country , to ensure tourism is killed & foreign investment in India is affected.World is reeling under a mammoth recession and admist all this their are some heinous minds who want to plan & implement a mayhem , a bloodshed. No less than a open declared war on a country, telling the govt that we will come and hit you hard under your nose....it is disgusting & shameful!
I was text last night by a friend in Mumbai to switch on my tv, and it was 10:55pm when i witnessed the live shoot out , something i have & i wish i never see in this lifetime again.People were running on the streets of South Bombay with blood soaked clothes....Blood all over on the roads, floor everywhere.I was up & awake until 2am and then i gave up as i could not see that petrifying sight of blood...almost made me nauseatic

Woke up with a headache as slept quite late, hoping & wishing things would have improved but to my utter dismay it was still continuing.While i am writing this blog ,their is still a lot of damage being caused to my countrymen & innocent tourists , foreigners who trusted my country's security & were stying in some of the safest & up class hotels of my country.
Questions - what was the intelligence doing all this while? why did this not came in their radar? how can so many people come via sea route and carry huge bagsful of ammunition, completely unnoticed by the security? Post Delhi blasts why was the security not tightened around the financial district of India?
Why cant India take a tough stand now?How many more people will die a humiliating death? When will i as an Indian feel safe while stepping out of my house? This question is in the minds of all Indian today ? I love my country but i don't feel safe here...will this make me abandon her? may be yes , may be no...but for sure the country is answerable to all its inhabitants? we don't want more of Mumbai blasts, Godhra's, Delhi blasts..we want to lead a normal life sans bloodshed.We want to see our family safely return back home , we just don't want to survive we want to LIVE ! that is our fundamental right & its high time the administration provides the same to its countrymen.
Wake up Judiciary make laws which are stringent....make it so hard for them to even think of anything like that in future.India is not a shelter for anyone to come and ruin my motherland...yes we are hospitable but that does not entitle anyone to come and spit on our faces.
Security & Intelligence ...a far cry!! wake up and gear up.
I don't care so much about my country GDP dipping from 8.5% to 5.5% next year that much, as i care about my country getting hit time and again.We are resilient people and have stood the test of times always, Our skin has become thick and we are used to encounter floods, cyclones, earthquakes every year but we will never get used to this terror mindset.
My urge to every Indian ,pls don't see the Tv today, read the papers tdy and forget it tmrw.Its your fundamental right to live safely in your country and whenever it gets challenged you need the administration to be answerable to you, for all the tax payers who have given almost half of their earnings to the govt: ...for what ? to live under constant threat? No ways...its time to take action

Down the memory lane...

I couldn't help but write again after discovering these pictures as i am feeling nostalgic!! do u remember those good old doordarshan days ? That early morning wake up by the oh so familiar chanting of the doordarshan..by chanting i mean, it was no less than a spiritual experience.I remember how my grandpa used to put on the news every morning & unfailing we kids used to eat our breakfast watching Salma aunty ( hope u know the famous anchor ) or watching the good morning India show.Sundays were a bumper bonanza, with loads of masti. I still remember how mum & dadi used to cook early on Saturday's & Thursday's as a weekend movie had to come that evening.It was so much fun sitting together as a family and watching some stupid movie ,still enjoying it sans coke, pepsi or popcorns, sans plasma screen's or lcd's, sans judgemental attitude.The high point was that even the advertisements were welcomed & wanted unlike today , dont we still remember our favourite ads ...remember "Tandurusti ki raksha karta hai lifebouy","Titan ad's simphony",

"Yaad aa gaya mujhko guzra zamana", " Jab mein chota bacha tha badi shararat karta tha, meri chori pakdi jati to roshani hoti Bajaj...".

I still remember every sun evening a horror series used to be shown called" mano ya na mano" and all the kids used to rush back to their homes to watch it eagerly and i used to wander alone in the park as i knew if i will go home, i will find my folks also watching it .I had this huge phobia of ghosts & i just couldn't take that serial.But for Vikram & Baitaal i was ever ready,...remember the famous jingle...spider man ..spider man...here he comes..! and those rasna packets containing some vague spiderman masks ,stickers etc.

Not to miss Mr Ameen Sayani,dont know if people remember him but for me he was the voice of India,the man who introduced Music into my life through cibaca & binanca geet mala on radio.My grandpa's murphy radio which i fondly carried along with me to the terrace, the room and the balcony despite it being so bulky...i carried music with me then & i still carry it in my heart.

Wonder where did those days disappear , when kids used to play in the parks & drive bi cycles.When their was no filter water or bisleri but we all drank tap water still remained fit.When

we eagerly looked forward to the summer vacation to visit our grandparents.When we fondly went to the vegetable market along with our parents.When we watched tv together as a family, when we ate together.When we did not have playstations, ipods,laptops,pokemon's,chat rooms but we had TRUE FRIENDS in flesh & blood! We had no mobile phones, but we always managed to find each other…. How? No one knows..We could stay out to play for hours, as long as we got back before dark, in time for dinner. We walked to school, or sometimes we even rode our bicycles.

Those days when we didn't visit psychiatrists, psychologists or counselors we just talked it out and later hugged to make up

Weren't those days truly wonderful !!

isnt it beautiful to walk down the memory lane at times :)

My collection of pic's

These are some of the random pic's i took , they say "a thing of beauty is a joy forever"..and somehow i believe in capturing all the beautiful moments in my camera besides my eyes.One thing you will always find me with a camera ( if i am out obviously), one day my canon would grow up and become an SLR :) waiting for that day...

Indian Coffee House , Simla ...truly antique !!

Sometime...

Everytime i tell myself not to write same old mushy stuff and everytime i come back to tear open my heart and stand there...hoping may be someone someday will see. That day hasn't come so far and all i have today is some lonesome and some sweet memories.I dont want to be emotional but guess am made that way!! cant crib , cant blame..may be my heart is bigger than my brain, in depth, in volume , in subtance and in feelings.Of those numerous songs i sang with somebody, of those movies i saw, of those beautiful sunsets...sometimes i wish,wish to re-live those moments but then i think & tell myself , moments cant be the same as people have changed.No matter how much illusions i create around me,no matter how much ignorance i show but no one can hide the sun shining behind your wall, like the truth which never fails you

So who knows may be while walking with my stick,looking from my glasses,perfectly groomed in my grey hair, i would remember them who touched my life , even if they gave me a lot of pain & hurt.Still i will raise a toast to them as they tought me a lot and may be "i am, what i am because they loved me"? And yes i would have forgiven them by then, or may be sooner than that.But yes the questions wouldnt have died,and may be i will ask them,someday, sometime...?

I remember one of my friends used to tell me "nothing is permanent in life everything is transient". I never understood it, but now i think its correct.People change, situations change, emotions change, life changes...before you could or you would know...

Cant help but put these powerfull & beautiful lines ...which can make a dead man walk on his feet

Sitaron se aagay jahan aur bhi hain, Abhi ishq ke imtehan aur bhi hain...
Tahi zindagi se nahin yeh fizaein, Yahan sankron karevan aur bhi hain...
Kana’at na kar aalim-e-rang o bu par, Chaman aur bhi, aashiyan aur bhi hain...
Tu shaheen hai parvaz hai kaam tera, Tarey saamne aasman aur bhi hain...
Issi roz o shab mein ulajh kar na reh ja, Key teray zaman o makan aur bhi hain...

And may i dare to add my few lines to it...
Shayad koi kinara mera bhi hai, shayad mere hissen mai asmaan aur bhi hai..
Shayad kisi nighah ko mera intezar aaj bhi hai..
Shayad mere naseeb mein beintehah pyaar aaj bhi hai..
Tum kehte ho , sunder ankhein hai meri
Par en ankhon mein kuch to hai , jo yeh itni bezuban aaj bhi hai...
Ek kone mein kuch chuppa rakha hai, kya en aasuoan ko tum se pyaar aaj bhi hai?
Sochti hun thoda dum bhar lun,Shayad lamba intezaar aur bhi hai...

Travelogue...Kasauli

Aha ! how picture perfect was it in my mind before we started. I had already been dreaming of taking long walks on the hills of Kasauli , watching the sun go down and hearing the chirpy birds. My agenda was clear...complete leisure sans any form of technology ( no mobile , no laptop , no tv ).Little did i know or ever anticipated that i will end up having the worst road travel.Okay this is actually a comedy of errors..
It started around 4am on 9th oct (Pious Dusherra day ) ,our alarm snoozed and we all woke up hurriedly and took our turns to the washroom. The room was smelling of loud deodorants and perfume at 4:30am in the morning.We all had a quick bite into our so called " breakfast" thanks to mum :)) , now was the time to wait in the balcony trying to locate our driver.Off course we are smart people "The Oberoi's " you see so we had called in for a cab for our entire journey.the clock was ticking and it was already 5am and the cabby was seen no where in the radius of 5km's.So i called up the driver ( thank god for little mercy , had the driver 's cell no:)..and smartly he said he has been waiting outside a wrong address for the past half hour as he was not given my address?$?%%$^????...Nonetheless chose to ignore such a trivial situation, hence guided him and he reached our house in 15min flat.

Happy as we were to upload out stuff onto the car and merrily smiling at the apartment guards, our smiles were ear to ear" look here we go ...off to a weekend getaway"....0.5km driven..and the driver started hurling abuses..he said "madam the car is a junk piece, no proper headlight, no rear view mirror, the brakes are not proper...and i am so disgusted with the way the driver of this car has maintained it..my car is in much better condition"...we were shocked. I immediately called up the cab owner and told him to change the car.He said no other car available and this driver is quite experienced, 15yrs u see..so needless to worry.

So we started, mum told him to drive safely and slowly.we landed ourselves at the main highway in few hours, we were beginning to feel hungry now so a unanimous decision was to stop at a roadside dhaba and hog on to parantha's.That was my first gastronomical delight!!...the smile was now LARGER than life and if i may use this sentence from a hindi scripture "anandam bhavati sarv sansare "...few kilometers on the highway and our sleep gets shaken by a huge thud..."dhoooom" and the car bans into o motorbike. The Mayhem begins !!!that was the beginning..then the mob collected and the police cop came, talking to me in his vernacular Haryanvi & a mix of Punjabi.The lady had bruised her foot and the bike was not getting started. Thankfully all escaped any serious damages but its India and it’s always the fault of the bigger vehicle. So here i was talking in my utmost respectable mannerism with Mr Cop & the so-called or rather self-labeled victim of the accident. Finally managed to shoo away the cop and rather settle with the " self proclaimed victim".

My altruist self empowered me and i offered that lady to sit in the car , we offered her some juice and took her to the doc.prior to that i myself tendered to her bruises , i washed it , put dettol on it and applied a bandage. Her husband wanted to be opportunistic and wanted us to shell out some huge bucks.We took his bike to a shop and offered to get it repaired. It had already costed us two hours ,loss of sanity and some money.Finally i gave up , handed over the money and left....lessons learnt!! No Altruism anymore..

Covered about 50km and guess what..we were blessed with a flat tyre :) now this was too funny & adventurous for Piya and me to handle and we just couldn't’t stop laughing. He made a joke out of it and were laughing our hearts out.That was a cute moment, our car was parked under a huge mango tree and we were sitting and playing antaksri...That was like turning an obstacle into a stepping stone.Nothing could deter our spirit and we were relaxed under the shade of the mango groove.
“Chal dhano …aaj meri izzaat ka sawal hai “…and the dhano sighed and started in a while ,uphill , berp berp…jhatka’s ..hoof hoof…monkey’s on the road to Parwanoo…hoof hoof..berp berp….jump…another jhatka and we finally reach Gharkhal…( km away from kasauli)

Unloaded our baggage and here we crash on our queen size bed.All we needed was food ,food and more of it.Hogged , a quick shower and off we go to the by lanes of Garkhal, exploring the place , the people and the local food.Piya the biggest foodie ive ever encountered …could stop herself from those chat papdi , tikki stalls & this is after her heavy lunch …oh lord bless her :)

We realized that Gharkhal holds this ram Lilia & Dusherra celebrations every year with huge fun & frolic. What would it be sitting on the terrace of our hotel under the cold and open starlit sky and watching the local flavour of theatre,simply incredible !! The best part was the battle between Ravana & Rama’s team …it was so hilarious…little kids dressed as cute monkey's were actually rolling on the ground and hitting , smashing each other

Then it was a magnanimous scene , the entire skyline of Gharkhal was lit up with fire crackers….the red’s , the green’s , the orange’s and the yellow’s…sky no longer looked blue it was filled with colors and brightness , may be this was a warm welcome to the oberoi’s :)

That was the best vijaya dashmi we’ve ever had in our lives

Next day was a complete delight .A day well planned to do NOTHING.All we did was walking on the upper mall , the lower mall road and the cantonment area and then waiting at some arbid park ( actually the cutest ive ever encountered ) waiting for the sun to go down…so that the senior Ms Oberoi could click some pic’s from her beloved cannon.There it was shining straight almost 90degrees…all I did was read , sang , looked and looked….and admired certain things in life which are so simple yet so beautiful..and so much ignored as well. May be my moments of truth !

Again the most beautiful day of our lives that will always remain like a dream in my mind.
Did I mention that steep climb to manki point…had to drag mum uphill and save shades from the monkey’s.it’s a historic temple , they say Hanuman had put his foot on this hill while going to the Himalaya’s to fetch the sanjeevini buti.It actually is in quite a strange shape , a non believer may also tend to ponder

So next day was a day to say good bye to Gharkhal.Again all eyes were on Dhanno to drive us back safely.It took almost 15 minutes for our driver to coax Dhanno to move.It moved finally and moved till Ambala the place we ate lunch…thereafter dhanno’s engine was smoking ,,,, it was throwing up hot water.So , what next ? nothing we were stranded on Chandigarh highway with no public transport , no help…nothing.After a long long time and a huge gesture for help …did an autowala stop. How far is nearest mechanic from here ? asked mum….”almost 6 kms from here “ was his answer.No choice , so we had to tow away dhanno for 6 km’s on an auto… now who can imagine that…so we reached a mechanic’s shop and he looked at the car …looked at us and smiled and said..its better you guys dump all your hopes on this car as its engine has knocked off.Some hearts had almost berped , mine was one of them.So the oberoi’s were spotted unloading stuff and walking to the nearest stop to find any bus , taxi….rest is history….bus then a cab…finally reached HOME at 1pm.

Again said to myself “ better late than never “

No regrets , no worries , a lot of questions but now answered..All is well if it ends well…God doesn’t offer absolute happiness , there is nothing as absolute or complete or full..it may have a tinge of darker shades for us to appreciate the brighter side of life and thank god or whoever for the merrier times we have had..

As they say”for everything you have missed , you have gained something else ;And for everyting you gain , you lose something else. Its about your outlook towards life.You can either regret or rejoice”

Music my religion

cant describe how awesome am feeling right now , somehow i managed to get this MP3 of all mahesh bhatt movie songs...all packed in one..movies like- woh lamhe, aashiqui , phir teri kahani yaad ayee , daddy, gangster, jism. Gosh i am loving it.Think he did a lot of good work, fortunately or unfortunately he was always in controversies.But he did some remarkable movies like daddy,saraansh.
Think this lifetime is less for me to immerse my heart & soul in music & movies.I was fortunate to be introduced to Mozart, Bach & Beethoven and honestly first it took me quite an effort to listen to it, i mean hearing is different but listening with all fondness and a keen ear is different.Then i saw this movie on Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's life and i was speechless, ..astounding & simply incredible.Such a maestro ever existed and we dont even know about his work & life. so now i feel like watching , seeing all this biographies and then listening to their work so that i can genuinely relate to their work and do them justice by lending my ear's..

The windchime in my room is also supporting the orchestra and that palm plant which i bought recently...ok let me imagine...may be he /she/it ( Mr palm plant suit yourself ) is also enjoying the music, or may be it/he /she is trying to remember the lyrics so that it can be played when i am asleep and i dont bother it with excess water,etc,etc .

The other day i went to this huge and beautiful shop called "Theme" they sell piano's and teach aswell.I was so thrilled as if i could join it like yesterday.Piano's are expensive hence it will be quite an expensive hobby ,but i feel my long fingers wait to touch the keys and then its me & my world of stange, unheard and silly music maybe...or maybe some heart touching chord..


until then...keep the music within you ALIVE

Horizon......

Pictures i clicked on my Bangalore Delhi flight ,May 2008

The river of sorrow

....Its been sixteen days 31 lakh people rendered homeless, over 1 lakh people have already sucummed to the angry Kosi. 16 districts , 1598 villages have been swept under water. Some villages would have lost its face completely , as if they never existed. This has been the worst floods ever experienced by Bihar.As usual the government woke up after 6 days of the calamity.The govt numbers shows only 47lives as lost however you & i know the real story .Old men & women , Kids ,infants how long do you think can they sustain the mayhem of an angry kosi lashing off their fields, their dwellings ,their cattle and finally their kith & kin.

Today i spoke with some volunteers at ground zero .It is a commendable work some people are doing , people flew from Kolkatta and Orissa and providing camps to the affected.I spoke with a Doctor who is at ground zero and working in a camp looking after the medical aid for the victims , no incentive attached purely Samaritan.

Spoke with another gentleman , an industrialist based out of Kolkatta who flew with some manpower and jumped in troubled waters to save lives, is running three camps which provide food, clothing & medicine to the victims.

Govt has now started to provide food but the hungry , tired and parched souls cant wait any longer and we hear stories of govt warehouse being attacked , fights , stampede over food , medicine...who to blame? to blame that old man who has mustered all the strength to fight a 30yr old as his now orphaned grand-daughter is dying of hunger.May be she is the only one surviving and he wants to see her alive.That moment is the moment of truth when their is no difference between an animal or a man as all you need and think about is basic needs.

No you cant blame anyone.If you may or can ...blame the administration.Ask them why the help reached so late..why was their no warning , why is it in India steps are taken post the havoc had occurred. Think about US ..Gustav was on its way to New Orleans and the administration / gvt took every step to evacuate the masses.Rescue camps already being set up.Agreed we are a developing country with a growth rate of 7.5% and hit by an inflation of 12.3% and a population of over 1.3 billion but we are no less.We are the best of brains,we are the biggest software creators in the world, the 4th most powerful woman in the world is an Indian ( Indra Nooye), we rank among the top 50 richest men in the world, we rank top 10 in overseas acquisition...but we lack something .....a sensitivity towards our country and fellow countrymen.

Now the food is adequate ( as what is being told to me ) but what the villages of Saharsa, Katihar , Purnia, Mandhepura ,Ararria, Supaul need are concrete rehabilitation work.Their are women and young girls now abandoned, orphaned ,the next thing we need to do is to save them from being forced into prostitution, may be by some of the relative or some surviving family member....to earn some bucks ...to secure a livelihood. Bihar is one the verge of an epidemic and many more will be taking their last breath as you read this blog

I along with many of m y co workers have taken a step to encourage our colleagues to donate one day's salary to the victims.Also are putting a request to the organisation to donate some USD funds for rehab work

Have also written to my close Friends & associates to awaken to the cause and contribute in whatever way they can

Bihar needs medicine & clothing. The flood waters may take some weeks to recede, then the area will be inflicted with an epidemic, already people are suffering from gatro disorders.

Its an appeal to all those who are reading this blog.Pls contribute in whatever way you can.

NGO's participating in this cause - RedCross , CARE , Unicef ,Bihar CM fund, many more.Pls do your own due diligence before fishing out money to ensure whichever NGO you support is genuine and has some proven track records.Their are some 100 NGO's in the effected ares but are doing nothing besides taking pictures and posting on their websites.

Will keep updating my blog with more news from ground zero

Until then keep the faith !

Simplicity

March 2008, enroute to Elephanta caves , somewhere near Mumbai , Gate way of India ,i saw this fisherman village .Few boats stading on the shore with the Indian Flag fying high in the air.It was a admirable sight .Isnt it strange that people who live under constant threat of poverty and deprivation tend to be more patriotic than the ones so called" affluent" .India lives in these villages and in the hearts of all these great Indian's who dont shy away from saying that I am Indian and no matter what my country offers me ,I love it as it gives me shelter and gives me my daily bread.How pure and simple life with basic expectations.
When i was a child and i used to see my maid's children laughing over nothing and playing with the branches of trees ,i used to feel how strange how can one laugh over inane stuff ? I mean a discussion should be intelligent ,comprehensive and dignified ..Little did i know i need to learn from them the art of being happy , truly happy ..the art to rejoice life in whatever form / whatever shape and whatever dimension.They may be far from intelligent and being literate but they can laugh on themselves and can find reasons to smile.Isn't that commendable.In today's world how many people can look at the hopping butterfly and smile..haven't we forgotten that somewhere ?
This is my ode to simplicity...all pervasive and ever charming

Kya sundarta sarvoch hai ,ya sunder hai voh ankhen jo sundarta ko niharti hai !!!

Beyond the sky....

Some times i wonder ,what next ? past ten years or so have been like a roller coaster ride.I have had small goals and plans and have worked like a maniac to achieve them.I always believed in my dreams...my dream to own my house , my car , a good job and today i have it all ..Guess the thrill is not in reaching your destination the thrill is in the journey to achieve the impossible.To reach out for the sky.Today i am sitting alone and trying to create higher goals for myself.That's the only thing which keeps me busy & happy to run after my ambitions and my dreams ...I keep telling life ,Hey am coming to get ya !! Be prepared ...
Life has been quite unfair still i love it , I thank God for all the small things being bestowed upon me and my family .I am alive, i can breathe , can smell good food , can eat good things , can admire a blossoming flower or sunset ,can hear the murmur of the leaves and the chirping of the birds, can cuddle snuffy ( my dog ) and feel so loved...Isn't it all amazing! .No matter i have lost a lot in life still i don't wanna give up , want to continue on this journey until i find my final abode...
Until then ...I shall look beyond the sky

My fondest pictures : )

Life from my window

My day started quite late today ,my alarm forgot to kiss me it seems and my dreams just got over me and i snoozed for long..woke up only to realise gosh am dead late for work and may be am not upto it today.what next a lazy manu at home doing nothing,just gazing at the sky through the window of my bedroom.It rained today,dont know why am so crazy about rains ,i simply love the feel of those droplets touching my skin and giving me a shiver.
watched this wonderful movie called "Life is beautiful" and by the end of it i was awestruck as it is a peice of work ,simply incredible.
So much pain yet so much love ,so much care,love which is unconditional.May be only a parent can offer such a pious and unconditional love.For me i have always been blessed with mum's love and care,someone who adores me and prays for me, she has been my mother aswell as my father.I will always be indebted to her for whatever she has done for me.For making me the strongest woman with immense fortitude along with deep sensitivity. papa only comes in my dreams sometimes ,very faint and very distant.That's how he had always been for me ...a man whom i never knew ,a man whom the world could not know, a man who was pure hearted yet was the most misunderstood .A man who left us all , a man for whom i couldnt do much.A man who will always be my father.
Everytime i think of putting something down i tell myself not to sound so philosophical and emotional but may be that's me...and thats quite inseperable now.
Life from my window is blue and grey, with lots of rain clouds.Its silent and still just like life becomes at times...exactly when its about to unfold some mysteries or bestow you with some stupendiuos gift.I still remember being a child we use to wait for rains as it brought along lots of goodies ,mum made malpua ( indian sweet parantha) with kheer ( rice & milk in sugar syrup),oh how i used to hog on it.I can still close my eyes and relish the taste !
Today i was thinking we dont see many birds fly in the air ,or is it that we dont have time at hand to observe the nature.As a child i used to gaze at the sky looking at many birds , eagles flying high and actually parasailing.It was so much fun ! Kids today can only identify with birds through thier scrapbooks or pictures ,wonder if they will ever get to see the real thing.Life has really moved fast.
Am gonna go an sip into my cuppa coffee..

Adieous for now,will be back

Dew Drops ....

Have you seen a dew drop dancing on the leaves
She says a lot by staying still…
I have also said what I ought to
With no malice and no regrets I got to
Live a life of sanity
With I ,me and my humanity
Life comes back in full circle
Before you may or you could decipher
You’ve lost quite a bit ,you see
Or you still at it, loosing by every bit

Deja Vu!

Where do all these thoughts go? Have you ever wondered every spoken word, every thought which runs past your mind doesn’t die, it gets registered somewhere in the universe and one day it resonates. You feel a sense of Déjà vu as if you have heard this some time back, was it few years back or was it a different lifetime!

These moments have been there before or r u having a time machine. You keep going back and forth in TIME .All those thoughts come alive, you live those moments again .If they are happy moments you are overwhelmed but if they are sad moments or your fears, no matter how much you despise but you go through them all over again, don’t know for how many years or for how many lifetimes!

Sometimes your innermost fears come alive, things you’ve been apprehensive of, situations you would never want to occur to you. And one day your inner most fears come forth in your real life standing tall in front of you. What do you do then? Run away or face it ? Feel threatened or get stunned, think that its some mystical power or feel sorry.
Every nano second you would have spent on thinking something whether good or bad will come back to you some day.These thoughts manifest in the universe .Nature never forgets anything and stores all your ideas , thoughts ,actions , words & karma’s .Its like a Bank account whatever you deposit and forget about it will bring it back.It has mystical powers to keep account of not merely your actions but everything.

Faces change but emotions keep coming back. Don’t want to believe ok try something keep thinking of meeting with an accident and you are preparing yourself for one.Think of your best friend deserting you and trust me these negative thoughts will manifest somewhere in the universe and will come back to you stalking you and who knows may be it happens ,faces may change but the intensity of those thoughts will not change.
I have heard some words which I had heard before, the face which spoke these words has changed but the emotions and the pain in those words were the same.I was stunned , can this happen ,same language ,same words ,same emotions , same pain….but coming from a completely different person

Life come & Embrace me.....

Life come and embrace me. You promised that one day you’ll come …I am waiting for that day. I watch the sun rising .The crimson east. I watch it dooming and then its all ivory .I again set my eyes towards the sky ,yet I see the same
My urges say to have a close encounter with you but you never wait and walk out of the vicinity to my neighbor’s house/I watch them from my window. You are pampering them ,you are comforting them. It’s all merry there.Everthing is lighted and here I see myself in the darkness ,in the mist standing still and alone. Even my shadow has left me and gone there to experience you.My eyes wide open ,dry & constantly watching them intoxicated with joy.Words began to elude me.I want to burst out speak and shout at you.But suddenly you disappear leaving me moaningAgain, I set myself.May be some day you will meet me in some dark remote lane of the coty and bestow some happiness .These are my urges to meet you, feel you & experience you.Be my friend and never desert me

I'll Remember

I will remember the way you walked in
Like a cascade rushing into the sea
I’ll remember your soothing voice so divine, so powerful
Which added a smile to my life
Like the sun you woke me up every morning
Like the stars you made even the darkest nights bright for me
Like the moon you were always smiling
I’ll remember your words for they were my voice
For everything else I can forget
But
I’ll remember the way you walked out
Making me lose my voice
Making me lose my strength
I heard somebody say
That I had my last breathe that day

To the Woods !

Take me to the dark, lovely woods
Take me to the valley of flowers
Take me to Pluto
Take me to venues
Take me to mars
Take me to a place
Where happiness would be ours
Where it is not , begged, borrowed or stolen
Take me to a place
Where my voice would eco mile & miles
A place garnished with genuine smiles
Take me a place where a tiny heart would beat for me
A place where I would love to be
If these are the place too distant for me
Take me a place thy call heaven
Where my light would merge with the supreme light
And let there be light everywhere
Let there be happiness in all spheres
Let no more soul recite these lines
Let no one dream of going to the pines

Nature's Beauty

Listen to the gurgle of a brook
Which catches your attention by a hook
Hear the sweet lullaby of the cascade
The beauty that god has made
Discover the aroma of flowers
Pleasing the soul of ours
Scent the breeze and the fog
Which is always in its best vogue
Experience the shady groove in summer
The dancing leaves creating a musical murmur
Watch the glory of the sunlight
Enchanting, magnificent and ever bright
Rest your heart and mind in peace
Give your eyes a feast
By experiencing the beauty of nature
The best ointment for every creature

I Cherish

I cherish those memories of childhood
When my eyes were a token of innocence
When I used to cry but there was a sense of compassion and love in my cry
When I used to hold somebody’s hand and used to feel confident about it
When I knew that someone is there to make me walk on my feet
I cherish those moments
When I used to talk to myself
Just because I knew that there is no one else to understand you better than yourself
When I used to cry because I had failed to win
Indeed knowing that I will win someday
I cherish those moments
When I used to admire
Not merely because things were wonderful
But because of an ultimate human in me

Deja Vu

Deja Vu

Where do all these thoughts go? Have you ever wondered every spoken word ,every thought which runs past your mind doesn’t die ,it gets registered somewhere in the universe and one day it resonates.You feel a sense of Déjà vu as if you have heard this some time back ,was it few years back or was it a different lifetime!

These moments have been there before or r u having a time machine.You keep going back and forth in TIME .All those thoughts come alive , you live those moments again .If they are happy moments you are overwhelmed but if they are sad moments or your fears ,no matter how much you despise but you go through them all over again, don’t know for how many years or for how many lifetimes !

Sometimes your inner most fears come alive, things you’ve been apprehensive of ,situations you would never want to occur to you.And one day your inner most fears come forth in your real life standing tall in front of you.What do you do then? Run away or face it ? Feel threatened or get stunned ,think that its some mystical power or feel sorry.Every nano second you would have spent on thinking something wheather good or bad will come back to you some day.These thoughts manifest in the universe .Nature never forgets anything and stores all your ideas / thoughts /actions / words & karma’s .Its like a Bank account whatever you deposit and forget about it will bring it back.It has mystical powers to keep account of not merely your actions but everything