A Birth & Many Days....

It came and it went a day in my dairy ,30th Nov 2008....and it added another year to my life !!
Every year i eagerly wait for this day as i expect & hope for some good fortune ( the eternal hopeful me ) year after year but the hope just doesn't subside.May be that' s the incorrigible optimist inside of me, somewhere deep down ,which tells me that the sun always shines after a long and dark night.If the night has been longer & darker may be the day will be equally brighter & sunnier...
When i say this to myself i usually shut my eyes, as with open eyes i can only see reality which is not actually quite like a sunny day rather a foggy, hazy...cold winter evening.

I sneak out of my balcony waiting....for the dawn...

....only that at times the wait becomes rather long....

....so long ...so good...it comes...Yes it will , the inside "me "' told me..to hold on..

waiting.........waiting for the dawn

26/11

Again..once again the self proclaimed mujaheddin have assaulted India and this time with utmost planning , technology , ammunition. In a daring & ruthless dance of death , open firing by AK 47 & 56 on roads of Mumbai in the evening of 26th Nov. The thought behind all this was to kill the financial nerve of my country , to ensure tourism is killed & foreign investment in India is affected.World is reeling under a mammoth recession and admist all this their are some heinous minds who want to plan & implement a mayhem , a bloodshed. No less than a open declared war on a country, telling the govt that we will come and hit you hard under your nose....it is disgusting & shameful!
I was text last night by a friend in Mumbai to switch on my tv, and it was 10:55pm when i witnessed the live shoot out , something i have & i wish i never see in this lifetime again.People were running on the streets of South Bombay with blood soaked clothes....Blood all over on the roads, floor everywhere.I was up & awake until 2am and then i gave up as i could not see that petrifying sight of blood...almost made me nauseatic

Woke up with a headache as slept quite late, hoping & wishing things would have improved but to my utter dismay it was still continuing.While i am writing this blog ,their is still a lot of damage being caused to my countrymen & innocent tourists , foreigners who trusted my country's security & were stying in some of the safest & up class hotels of my country.
Questions - what was the intelligence doing all this while? why did this not came in their radar? how can so many people come via sea route and carry huge bagsful of ammunition, completely unnoticed by the security? Post Delhi blasts why was the security not tightened around the financial district of India?
Why cant India take a tough stand now?How many more people will die a humiliating death? When will i as an Indian feel safe while stepping out of my house? This question is in the minds of all Indian today ? I love my country but i don't feel safe here...will this make me abandon her? may be yes , may be no...but for sure the country is answerable to all its inhabitants? we don't want more of Mumbai blasts, Godhra's, Delhi blasts..we want to lead a normal life sans bloodshed.We want to see our family safely return back home , we just don't want to survive we want to LIVE ! that is our fundamental right & its high time the administration provides the same to its countrymen.
Wake up Judiciary make laws which are stringent....make it so hard for them to even think of anything like that in future.India is not a shelter for anyone to come and ruin my motherland...yes we are hospitable but that does not entitle anyone to come and spit on our faces.
Security & Intelligence ...a far cry!! wake up and gear up.
I don't care so much about my country GDP dipping from 8.5% to 5.5% next year that much, as i care about my country getting hit time and again.We are resilient people and have stood the test of times always, Our skin has become thick and we are used to encounter floods, cyclones, earthquakes every year but we will never get used to this terror mindset.
My urge to every Indian ,pls don't see the Tv today, read the papers tdy and forget it tmrw.Its your fundamental right to live safely in your country and whenever it gets challenged you need the administration to be answerable to you, for all the tax payers who have given almost half of their earnings to the govt: ...for what ? to live under constant threat? No ways...its time to take action

Down the memory lane...

I couldn't help but write again after discovering these pictures as i am feeling nostalgic!! do u remember those good old doordarshan days ? That early morning wake up by the oh so familiar chanting of the doordarshan..by chanting i mean, it was no less than a spiritual experience.I remember how my grandpa used to put on the news every morning & unfailing we kids used to eat our breakfast watching Salma aunty ( hope u know the famous anchor ) or watching the good morning India show.Sundays were a bumper bonanza, with loads of masti. I still remember how mum & dadi used to cook early on Saturday's & Thursday's as a weekend movie had to come that evening.It was so much fun sitting together as a family and watching some stupid movie ,still enjoying it sans coke, pepsi or popcorns, sans plasma screen's or lcd's, sans judgemental attitude.The high point was that even the advertisements were welcomed & wanted unlike today , dont we still remember our favourite ads ...remember "Tandurusti ki raksha karta hai lifebouy","Titan ad's simphony",

"Yaad aa gaya mujhko guzra zamana", " Jab mein chota bacha tha badi shararat karta tha, meri chori pakdi jati to roshani hoti Bajaj...".

I still remember every sun evening a horror series used to be shown called" mano ya na mano" and all the kids used to rush back to their homes to watch it eagerly and i used to wander alone in the park as i knew if i will go home, i will find my folks also watching it .I had this huge phobia of ghosts & i just couldn't take that serial.But for Vikram & Baitaal i was ever ready,...remember the famous jingle...spider man ..spider man...here he comes..! and those rasna packets containing some vague spiderman masks ,stickers etc.

Not to miss Mr Ameen Sayani,dont know if people remember him but for me he was the voice of India,the man who introduced Music into my life through cibaca & binanca geet mala on radio.My grandpa's murphy radio which i fondly carried along with me to the terrace, the room and the balcony despite it being so bulky...i carried music with me then & i still carry it in my heart.

Wonder where did those days disappear , when kids used to play in the parks & drive bi cycles.When their was no filter water or bisleri but we all drank tap water still remained fit.When

we eagerly looked forward to the summer vacation to visit our grandparents.When we fondly went to the vegetable market along with our parents.When we watched tv together as a family, when we ate together.When we did not have playstations, ipods,laptops,pokemon's,chat rooms but we had TRUE FRIENDS in flesh & blood! We had no mobile phones, but we always managed to find each other…. How? No one knows..We could stay out to play for hours, as long as we got back before dark, in time for dinner. We walked to school, or sometimes we even rode our bicycles.

Those days when we didn't visit psychiatrists, psychologists or counselors we just talked it out and later hugged to make up

Weren't those days truly wonderful !!

isnt it beautiful to walk down the memory lane at times :)

My collection of pic's

These are some of the random pic's i took , they say "a thing of beauty is a joy forever"..and somehow i believe in capturing all the beautiful moments in my camera besides my eyes.One thing you will always find me with a camera ( if i am out obviously), one day my canon would grow up and become an SLR :) waiting for that day...

Indian Coffee House , Simla ...truly antique !!

Sometime...

Everytime i tell myself not to write same old mushy stuff and everytime i come back to tear open my heart and stand there...hoping may be someone someday will see. That day hasn't come so far and all i have today is some lonesome and some sweet memories.I dont want to be emotional but guess am made that way!! cant crib , cant blame..may be my heart is bigger than my brain, in depth, in volume , in subtance and in feelings.Of those numerous songs i sang with somebody, of those movies i saw, of those beautiful sunsets...sometimes i wish,wish to re-live those moments but then i think & tell myself , moments cant be the same as people have changed.No matter how much illusions i create around me,no matter how much ignorance i show but no one can hide the sun shining behind your wall, like the truth which never fails you

So who knows may be while walking with my stick,looking from my glasses,perfectly groomed in my grey hair, i would remember them who touched my life , even if they gave me a lot of pain & hurt.Still i will raise a toast to them as they tought me a lot and may be "i am, what i am because they loved me"? And yes i would have forgiven them by then, or may be sooner than that.But yes the questions wouldnt have died,and may be i will ask them,someday, sometime...?

I remember one of my friends used to tell me "nothing is permanent in life everything is transient". I never understood it, but now i think its correct.People change, situations change, emotions change, life changes...before you could or you would know...

Cant help but put these powerfull & beautiful lines ...which can make a dead man walk on his feet

Sitaron se aagay jahan aur bhi hain, Abhi ishq ke imtehan aur bhi hain...
Tahi zindagi se nahin yeh fizaein, Yahan sankron karevan aur bhi hain...
Kana’at na kar aalim-e-rang o bu par, Chaman aur bhi, aashiyan aur bhi hain...
Tu shaheen hai parvaz hai kaam tera, Tarey saamne aasman aur bhi hain...
Issi roz o shab mein ulajh kar na reh ja, Key teray zaman o makan aur bhi hain...

And may i dare to add my few lines to it...
Shayad koi kinara mera bhi hai, shayad mere hissen mai asmaan aur bhi hai..
Shayad kisi nighah ko mera intezar aaj bhi hai..
Shayad mere naseeb mein beintehah pyaar aaj bhi hai..
Tum kehte ho , sunder ankhein hai meri
Par en ankhon mein kuch to hai , jo yeh itni bezuban aaj bhi hai...
Ek kone mein kuch chuppa rakha hai, kya en aasuoan ko tum se pyaar aaj bhi hai?
Sochti hun thoda dum bhar lun,Shayad lamba intezaar aur bhi hai...